Not Destroyed
by JustCallMeJay
Summary: Bella is not broken but smashed, and it was Phil who did it to her. When Charlie has cancer and she is drawn to Forks, what happens when she meets the one and only Edward Cullen? A/H
1. From Danger To Home

**A/N: Tell me whether you like it or not :D reviews appreciated! Thanks.**

**Slight child abuse **

Chapter one – From Danger to Home

It was her step-father who screwed her up royally. She learned to deal with it though.

He was good for her mother and that was all that really mattered, but her ever did to Renee what he had done to her then she might never forgive herself.

Phil was an alright guy when they had met, but only when they met.

After her mother, Renee, and her new step father, Phil, had moved in together she had been dragged along. Phil was nice for the first month or so, she had even started to see why her mother like him, he treated her as if she was his own daughter, but then when Renee had gone out for a day on one of her new 'spa' days that she loved for the moment.

That was the first time Phil had ever beat her, he was watching his baseball game on the plasma in the lounge she walked in to get a DVD from the rack, he insisted that she got in his way and when she turned around and told him that she couldn't possibly have when she was half way across the room. He had walked over to her then and beat her, til she was on the ground gasping for air.

'You should know better than to disobey me, Isabella Swan.' Was what he had said to her before picking up her barely conscious form and carry her upstairs to her bed.

She hadn't moved at all when her mother got home, but she thought throughout the day about how she would keep this a secret form her mother, til dying on her death bed would this stay with her and Phil.

When her mother rushed in she murmured something about falling down the stairs, she wasn't that clumsy, but enough so that her mother would believe that she had fallen.

'No, mom. I don't need to go to the hospital, I'm fine. It was a miner fall.' She protested.

'Bella, falling down a flight of stairs is no 'minor fall' it is quite serious.' But her mother dropped it, not bothering her again about it.

Phil learned from then, hitting her in places no one would see, the back, the stomach, shoulders. When hitting her wasn't enough he became more eventful, doing things that had left scars.

On her back mostly, but hints on the rest of her body. He was careful, never allowing Renee to know, and he knew she would stay quiet for her mother's sake.

One evening when Phil had taken Renee out to dinner Bella was sprawled out on the couch, relishing the fact that her mother was going to be home all weekend, knowing Phil wouldn't have the chance to get near her, the phone rang. Painfully leaping off the couch she grabbed the phone from the cradle just in time.

'Hello?' her voice more cheery than she felt, ignoring the pain in her left hip, Phil's latest beating, she hobbled over to the kitchen and began pulling out ingredients for a banana milkshake.

'Hello, this in Doctor Carlisle Cullen, I'm here at the Forks Local Hospital. Is Isabella Swan there?' his voice was like music, deep and calm but with a slight ring to it.

_Forks? That's where her father lives,_ 'Yes, this is Bella speaking, is there something I can do for you?' she said, cheery again. She didn't feel it.

What Doctor Carlisle had said froze her in her tracks; the glass she had been holding in her hand now smashed n the floor.

'Okay. Can I call you back?' she cheery voice now shaky with the tears threatening to spill over.

'Sure, honey.' With that she hung up. Numbly walking back to the couch feet cut and bleeding from walking over the glass she broke, she didn't even feel it.

When her mother arrived home she was a blubbering bleeding mess on the floor, tears unrelenting to stop flowing from her eyes.

'What's wrong, dear?' her mother's concerned as it was most days.

'It-It's Charlie.' She blubbered out. _Seven years,_ she thought, in seven year she hadn't heard or contacted Charlie, she would probably never know what had happened between her mother and father, but she hoped it was worth it.

But for five years she had had to put up with Phil, and he had made her feel like less than the dirt on the earth. Bella had been a strong girl, but Phil had broken her, and she didn't know if she would ever be healed again.

'What about Charlie, Bella? Bella?' her mother had been saying but she had been caught up in her own inner musings.

'Doc-doctor Carlisle Cul-' she hiccupped a sob, '-len, called. Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-, ' her mother cradled her closer, stroking her hair in a soothing manner. With a big gulp of air she finished, 'Charlie has cancer. He has 2 months to live.'

Her mother murmured soothing word she didn't understand. She saw the blurred out line of Phil as he stood awkwardly in the doorway, but she still saw the fire to beat her in the back of his eyes.

'Charlie has cancer.' Her voice a little more steady, only stating it again in case her mother hadn't heard.

'I know, darling, it will all be okay,' but she wasn't listen.

After that she was lost in a wave of emotion. _Hurt. Anger. Annoyed. Rage. _She was mostly annoyed at herself; she had been too selfish to see him, call him. Hell, even email him.

She had no idea what was going on in his life, what he was leaving behind.

When Renee woke her in the morning her eyes felt puffy and swollen, she had been crying in her sleep.

'Hey, I didn't mean to wake you but I made breakfast if you want any?' Renee had her sympathetic voice on today, or really her empathetic, because how would she know what it felt like to have the man you call father dying in 2 months and nothing you can do about it.

But she could do one thing. 'Mom, I know what I want to do,' she struggled out of her bed, limbs and joints sore and stiff.

'What's that honey?' her mother's eyes were wide with alarm.

'I want to go spend Charlies last 2 months with him in Forks,' her voice gravelly, but firm enough to convince her mother.

'Of course, I'm sure he would love to have you,' her face was open and kind.

'I will call him today.'

After Bella eat breakfast slept for a few more hours and ate lunch she decided it was time to call.

'Hello? Chief Swan.' A man's voice answered, weak yet full of authority.

'Hey, Dad. It's Bella.' Her voice a little weak herself.

'Bella! How are you?' he sounded genuinely happy, but why wouldn't he?

'Listen, Dad. Doctor Cullen me last night, he told me what's going. I was thinking, would it be alright if I came to stay with you? I can help out,' she didn't really leave room for question.

'Oh.' His voice sobered, 'I'd love to have you, but I don't want you coming here if it's just because of... because of what's going on at the moment.'

She sighed, 'I'm willing to admit that is part of the reason, but it is also because of the fact that I don't know my Dad and I'm about to lose him.' She let out a few sobs.

'It's alright dear,' she knew her father was never good with emotional scenes.

They said goodbye and hung up. Telling her mother she had been accepting, accepting of her decision, and accepting of her choices.

'I can enrol in school there,' she told her mother whilst shoving clothes into her bag, everything she owned.

'It's okay, dear. You know I love you? You are welcome back anytime,' they hugged for a few minutes before her mother left to book her a flight, leaving Bella to pack.

After packing she found her mother in the study on the phone. _Two. Days. _That how long she had left in Phoenix.

They passed quickly, the two days, flying by, she slept mostly. Her mother home so she had no 'good-bye' beating from Phil. She was packed and already ticket paid for, map planned out of how she would jump to train from Port Angeles down to Fork.

Next thing she knew her mother was hugging her saying 'good-byes', she looked at Phil mutedly for a second before walking off to board the plane.

She doesn't remember the plane flight, and she doesn't remember switching to train, she doesn't remember the train trip either.

She numbly stumble off the train, almost forgetting her stop, and made her way out front where she was met by a black Volkswagen Rabbit, a russet skin coloured boy sitting inside, smiling like the cat who ate the canary.

'Jakey!' she squealed, but it wasn't the happiness she usual carried with her, no, this time there was an under tone of sadness.

'Bells!' he jumped out from the car and ran to hug her, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around. He had always been her sun, made her happy when no one else could, made her smile, she remembered that much.

'You have grown so much,' she said surprised, he really had.

'Yeah, that's because the last time we saw each other when we were like what, six? Seven?'

She laughed; it felt unnatural, almost alien to her. She hadn't laughed in a while.

She did a good cover of her emotions and pain; she had had five years practice with Renee. Luckily Jacob grabbed her luggage and put it in the boot while she slid into the front seat. Pain had become a constant for her, always there, always hurting, always a constant reminder of what a failure her life had become. Phil had limited her from doing anything, with the slightest trigger she might start crying, just thinking now she could feel the glaze over her eyes as she stared out the window, not seeing anything.

It all became too much and when Jacob had pulled up out front of her father, or rather her house, her emotion tore out of control, she couldn't control the sobs ripping her apart, her chest convulsing.

Jacob pulled her close to his side; he had always been warm, his comforting smell washing over her as her wrapped his arms around her. She gripped his shirt drawing him closer to her, she whimpered when his hand rested on one of the black and blue bruises she knew she had on her back.

She was _free_. He thought she was crying with grief for Charlie, but not only that but she was free of Phil, she didn't have to go back. She staying in forks wouldn't be the greatest but she could get a job, save, move away. Far away.

The relief and joy washed over her like a breath of fresh air. When she stopped crying Jacob helped her inside, watched her silently as she unpacked in her room from when she was a baby, same rocking chair in the corner, new double bed where her single bed room child hood had been.

She stowed her toiletries in the bathroom and walked down stair where Jake had gone to make them sandwiches.

They ate in silence, which was followed by silently walking to the couch and falling asleep Bella's arms wrapped securely around Jake waist, one of his hands playing with her hair the other resting on the small of her back. Jacob Black had always been good to her like this, always reliant to keep her up right, maybe if she could open her heart it, maybe it could be him. Phil had done significant damage to her, that is why she couldn't open her heart, because what if she did and then person she let in broken her more than Phil did, what if they didn't cause her physical damage but mental too.

Charlie was in the hospital, and that never left her mind. Tomorrow, tomorrow she would go and see him.

**A/N: Review is like love.**

**Already half way through the second chapter so be proud.**


	2. Dependency

**A/N: I do not own Twilight. And please review.**

Chapter 2 – Dependency

The birds chirped, she feel the presence of the sun filtering through the window, she shivered almost cold except for the pair of muscled arms wrapped around her. This was not Phoenix, this, she thought, was Forks.

When she opened her eyes they were puffy and swollen again, she hadn't woken up a morning without it, the first thing she set her eyes on was the sleeping black t-shirt clad body of Jacob, his face calm and almost vulnerable, he was so young.

She didn't even feel like he was a year younger than her, sometime he seemed older. Maybe it was the way he took on all of her problems for her, helped her, but he hadn't been there. He hadn't been there when she was beaten, when she made broken.

His hand was under the hem of her own t-shirt, nearing one of the scars Phil had marked her with, the worst part about it was the fact that nothing helped, and nothing could get rid of the disgusting scars that marred her body.

She knew on her right shoulder blades was the worst mark he could ever give her was, he had told her she deserved to have him look over her shoulder every time she did something wrong so she would know what a, as he put it, filthy slut she was.

She pulled Jacobs hand from it place and slowly got up, feeling the soreness in her joints, not a few months ago had Phil literally chucked her down a flight of stairs.

She shook her head, trying to clear the memories that would never be forgotten, might fade over time, but she would never forget what had happened to her, she had pretty scars to remind herself too.

By the time she showered, dressed, ran a brush threw her hair and brushed her teeth Jake was awake, perched on the edge of her dads couch.

'Would you like some coffee?' she asked her voice husky from not really speaking since she had gotten off the train yesterday afternoon.

'Sure,' he smiled at her, his smile always lit up the room.

As she made her way in to the yellow painted kitchen her mother had painted she thought about her mother. Would she be alright now that she wasn't there for Phil's punching bag, would he hurt her? Would Renee stand for it? Her mother was a confident person, strong headed too.

She started the pot of coffee as she went over today's agenda; visit Charlie and depending on the time she got back maybe email her mom.

Jake wandered in to the kitchen, scratching the back of his head, _his hair is longer than the last time she saw him._

_Well of course it is fool,_ her inner voice raged, _it's been years._

She grinned a little, the last memory she had of them together was when Jacob had gotten on his knees and begged her mother not to go, or not to take me with her, and maybe that would have been better, maybe then she wouldn't have had to deal with Phil.

He hadn't just broken her, he had smashed her, she was lucky she left before it escalated to something like rape, because she sure as hell knew she would never have been able to keep that, if he had raped her she probably wouldn't have even been able to trust Jake, or anyone for that matter.

When the coffee was ready she poured two mugs and took them to sit at the mismatched chairs around the dining table Charlie still had after all of these years.

She brought over milk and sugar.

'Thank you,' she whispered, unsure she even heard herself as she sipped her black sugarless coffee.

'Thank you for what?' Jake looked at her questioningly.

'Thank you for staying the night when you didn't have to,' he nodded, cup of coffee twisting in his hand while he stared at the liquid substance, he nodded slowly.

The silence between them wasn't awkward bit wasn't the most comfortable either, mostly because all she could think about was the bad things that had been haunting her the past five years, but then they would haunt her for the rest of her life.

'I'm going to have a shower,' she announced, 'will you be here when I'm finished getting ready?' she mentally scolded herself for her dependency on the poor boy.

'Uh, no. Sorry.' He looked at her with a gleaming of empathy, 'Billy has me down at The Reservation he needs something's and the wheel chair isn't in the greatest condition,' he looked more apologetic.

'It's okay, I guess I will see you when I see you, I don't really know when I'm going to be home, so...' she trailed off.

'Bye Bells,' he hugged her tight before she walked him to the door and fair welled him with a wave, she could feel the loneliness rolling off as she shut the door. Trudging up the stairs and to the bathroom where she showered and dressed for the emotional day she knew she had ahead of her.

As she rushed back in to the kitchen she realised she had no way of getting anywhere, she had no car, and walking in the rain didn't sound all that appealing.

Left on the kitchen table was a note, a note from Jake. Along with a set of car keys.

_Bella,_

_Billy told me to give you these and the attachment is in the driveway, be careful, she's not the young._

_Oh, and you have to double pump the clutch._

_Jake -_

When she went to the window in her small lounge room she saw it, a truck, to be specific a red 1953 Chevrolet pickup truck, and she liked it.

With keys in hand she locked the door and brisked the cold and all but running to the warm cab of her new loved truck.

She figured the hospital couldn't be too hard to find, and it wasn't once she was on the right side of town. She parked, and made her way to the doors of the reception type area, she asked the lady at the front desk, whose name tag said Doris, which room her father was in, she pointed out directions and Bella smiled, thanked the lady and continued on her way down the halls.

She hated hospitals, they were sterile and smelled of bleach, and they had always felt cold and uncaring. All of the staff always looked like they hated their job. When Bella pictured hospitals she pictured sickness, people never went to hospital when they had a chance of getting better in days, and people only really went to the hospital when they were terminally ill, or might have to spend a few months in there.

People went to the hospital to get better, so she didn't know why her father was there, there wasn't really a way for him to get better.

She reached Charlies room and found him lying on his bed, the T.V. was on and the game playing, she chuckled to herself, he always loved football, and walked over to the chair next to his bed.

'Hey, Charlie.' Her voice was soft.

'Hey kiddo,' he smiled at her, he looked sick, he didn't look like he was dying, but he looked unwell.

'How are you?' she could feel her eyes glassing over and she hastily rubbed them, hoping Charlie didn't notice, she didn't want to cry in front of Charlie, not when he hadn't cried for himself.

'I'm...' he paused for a second, staring off in to nowhere, recalling a memory she supposed, 'good, as good as I can be right now,' he looked defeated for a second but shook it off.

'That's good then, what game is it?' she questioned, knowing this would get him talking. Charlie had loved foot ball since she could remember.

He told her about the game, teams, and then proceeded to tell her all the players' stats. When he was half way through the teams a man, a very handsome man walked in to the room, long white doctor's coat that went to his knees.

He looked all of in his thirties, blonde hair, and pale skin with shining blue eyes. He was the only person who really looked like they enjoyed their job, as much as you could in a hospital.

With clip board in hand he strode over to Bella and Charlie. A clouded look on his beautiful face, _bad news,_ her head screamed, _he was going to tell us bad news._

'Ah, so this is the Bella Swan I have heard so much about. I'm Doctor Carlisle Cullen.' His smile was blinding.

'Oh, hey Doctor Cullen,' she shook the hand he had extended to her, his skin cold as ice, but then what doctors wasn't? It was almost part of the qualifications she guessed.

'Bella, if I could talk to you for a moment in the hall?' his voice calm and steady, definitely bad news. She nodded silently as she followed him out of her father's shared room, no one else was in there, but there were three empty beds.

Charlie's eyes became glued to the screen as she looked back over her shoulder, a slight grimace set on his lips, causing frown lines in his forehead.

'Now Bella,' he looked sympathetic. No one got her point of view, how many other people could say they didn't even really know the man they called father when he sat in the room they had just closed the door to, dying.

'What's wrong with him exactly?' she pleaded, she didn't really want to know but she still asked, in a voice unfamiliar to her own.

'It was lung cancer, in both lungs. He had longer but I'm afraid it's spread to his liver,' his angelic features portrayed apologetic, how many people had he told this kind of bad news to?

Bella stared over his shoulder, absentmindedly playing with the hem of her shirt, 'What are you staring at?' a voice sounded behind Carlisle. When her eyes focused, they focused on a boy, her age, maybe older.

Green eyes blazing as if she had done something wrong to stare, unintentionally at him, she flinched, the searing pain on her right shoulder as her mind processed her thoughts. Her eyes glassing over for what felt like the millionth time this week, crying would make her feel like she really was broken.

'Edward,' Carlisle scolded, she didn't know why, they didn't really look the same, and I mean they had the same pale skin. The shape of their eyes, and slightly their lips too.

As she looked at Edward she saw his radiating beauty, copper hair that stood in every which way direction, the blazing green eyes she's first focused on, he stood slouched against the wall, thrumming his finger impatiently.

He didn't say anything, just continued to tap his fingers on his leg. One tear escaped her eye as the realisation hit home, _his lungs and liver_, they wouldn't be able to operate. The pain still burned on her shoulder blade. She let another tear, turned on her heel and stalked down the hall way, rounding corners left and right until she was lost, the wing she was in seemed to be empty, sliding down to the floor her tears flowed freely.

It was a while before Bella begrudgingly made her way back to her father's room, when she turned in to the familiar corridor she recognised the familiar figure of Edward.

When she reached for the door handle he said, 'I wouldn't go in there, he is delivering the bad news to your father,' his voice wrapped around her like a blanket.

'He is my father, I should be in there with him,' she stated simply. With Edward standing in front of her she felt self conscious, realising her eyes were probably red and puffy, her clothes wrinkled.

'Trust me it's better if you wait outside until he finishes telling him.' He looked in to her eyes for a second before she walked to the wall opposite the door and slid down much like she had in the other hallway.

She held her head in her hands in her head for a few seconds before shuddering, she felt a presence appear next to her, a hand close to touching her shoulder, supposing to be comforting, and she scrambled to her feet and was a little where down from where she had previously sat.

Edward still sitting hand outstretched. She hadn't meant to react so badly but she couldn't help it, he had nearly touched her right shoulder, and it stung with pain, the mark wasn't new, but it still hurt like it when Phil had first done, the sadistic pleasure he got out of hurting her.

His face looked pain, obviously no one had ever reacted like that to him before, and he let his hand drop and stayed where he was.

Bella shook. And there was nothing she could do about it.


	3. Not Only Lungs, But Liver

**A/N: I do not own Twilight. And please review.**

Chapter 3 – Not Only Lungs, But Liver

Carlisle walked out in to the hall where Bella was still seated a few metres and on the opposite side of the hall from him.

She jumped up from where she sat and rushed over to Dr. Cullen.

'Is he alright?' her voice a little croaky and shaky.

'Yes, he is fine just sleeping, he probably will be most of the day, I'm sure he will be awake by dinner if you want to come back?' she looked at him displeased he thought she would just go home and leave her father here, but then again, how long had she really left her father. She nodded and started for her father's room, turning back to Dr. Cullen, 'Thank you Doctor Cullen,' she smiled slightly, as much as she could.

'Please call me Carlisle,' he rested his hand on hers for a second, another sympathetic gesture, she struggled not to flinch the way she had to Edward, who she saw stand rigid a look of mild jealous on his stunning features before he himself turned and walked down the hallway pretty much like she had.

In her father's room she saw his sleeping figure, shutting the door as quietly as possible, she tip toes over to him. Kissing him on the forehead and writing him a note explaining that she could be back after she had dinner, and if he woke not to worry and call her.

She left in her truck, vaguely remembering her way back to Charlie's house, the worst thing that she couldn't keep from her mind was Edward, his looks, the way he snapped at her but then tried to comfort her when she came back, did he know she was broken? Or was he just trying to comfort her in a situation he didn't understand.

When Bella got home she made herself a sandwich, went to the couch and ate, watching something she didn't pay attention to. Sleep claimed her peacefully and when she woke it was still two hours.

She read, and unpacked her bag some more.

When Bella arrived at hospital that night Charlie was already up, sitting, still watching the game apparently , 'Hey,' she announced her way in to the room.

'Bella,' he smiled at her genuinely, 'how are you?' he watched her as she made her way to the chair she had sat in when she first comfortable, taking his hand in hers.

'Dad,' her voice breaking, 'how long have you known? Why didn't you call? We didn't you tell me earlier?' she let out a small sob. With the time she had spent at home thinking of what Carlisle had said to her, _it was lung cancer, in both lungs. He had longer but I'm afraid it's spread to his liver_, in his lungs, he knew, he knew that he had cancer and he did nothing, he didn't tell her, didn't tell anyone.

'Bells, calm down,' he wiped a tear from her eyes, 'I didn't want you only coming down here because of the sickness, I wanted you to come and see me just to see me,' his voice was soft with an authenticity of honesty.

'Dad, you should have told me, I-I don't know you I regret know not seeing you and it's too late, I can never make up for the time I lost being selfish,' she sobbed again and Charlie pulled her in for a hug, probably lost for words when it came to so much emotion.

'It's okay, you can go home tonight and come back tomorrow I know it has been a bad week for you,' he said as she sat back in her chair.

She jumped when Doctor Cullen entered, not realising she had almost fallen asleep in the uncomfortable vinyl chair opposite her father's bed.

'Bella, it's good to see you here,' Carlisle smiled angelically.

She looked at him for a second her facial expression stoic.

'Thank you Carlisle,' she whispered, standing and nearly falling over from sore joints, she grimaced but kept walking.

She felt it appropriate to leave the room whenever Doctor Carlisle came in, doing whatever he did when she wasn't in there.

When she got out in to the hallway she went in the direction of the canteen, or so she thought until she heard a familiar voice, 'If you are looking for the canteen it's that way,' she turned back to see Edward pointing the way she had ran when he upset her.

She started back towards him, 'Thank you,' she muttered.

He fell in to step beside her as she made her way to get herself a coffee and then retire home for the night.

'So, Bella. Are you alright I mean your dad...' he trailed off looking a little awkward.

'Don't bother. I don't need sympathy from you anymore than I need sympathy from anyone else.

He hovered behind her, closer to her back than she would like. Her back was her most sensitive area, where Phil had to her most, covered in scars she knew she would never be able to go sown to the beach and wear a bikini, never be able wear any less than a t-shirt without being disgusted at her own body. Maybe that is what he wanted from her, to make her feel worse than the lowest of low, she knew that's what she was. She would never be able to hold a boys attention, and even if she did she could never let them in, she would never be able to love them back if they loved her.

She quickened her step and put a bit more space between herself and Edward.

He frowned a little, 'Listen, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but why is it you freak out anytime someone, well mostly me, get near you?'

She stared straight ahead for a second before turning to face him, her face getting hot, 'I have to go,' she hurried out of the building.

She had arrived in Forks on Friday, spent Saturday and Sunday in hospital with Charlie, but Monday was no exception, Monday she would attend Forks local High School.


	4. New In School

**A/N: I do not own Twilight. And please review.**

Chapter 4 –

Bella made her way to school in her new truck. Worried about finding the school, which once again, she didn't know where the hell it was. She found it though, simply, which she was relieved by.

Her truck was noisy, but she didn't mind so much.

When she pulled up in the school parking lot everyone was getting out of their sophisticated polished up brand new cars, while she slammed the door on her rickety, pre-loved, truck, but she didn't mind so much.

She made her way to the front office, collected her paperwork and set off to her first class, English, great she thought to herself.

Maths quite boring seeing as she was an above average student in it. Next she was off to Government, something she was new to.

On her way to her locker, before recess, she thought she saw a familiar copper coloured bobbing head in the sea of students when a hand grabbed her shoulder, she ripped the hand off and backed to the wall as students continued on their way.

'Isabella?' someone emerged from the crowd, 'Isabella Swan?' the voice was a weak nerdy guy, Asian, with greasy hair and glasses.

'Bella, actually,' her voice still a little shaky, for some reason she had believed it was Phil, she was scared he would come after her, the look in his eyes when she was boarding the plane, there was something there.

'Oh, my name is Eric Yorkie,' he thrust a hand out at her, she looked at it warily, and then looked back at him, clutching her bag tighter and swallowing,

She replied, 'Good to meet you,' and then went on her way to her locker, hoping he would leave her alone.

He didn't, of course, and quickly matched her stride, 'So, Bella? You're new here?'

'Uh, yeah,' she really wasn't in the mood but she didn't have the guts to tell him she wasn't the type he wanted, that she a mess he couldn't handle, that no one could.

'Do you want to come and sit with us at lunch?' as she miraculously found her locker pretty well, catching a glimpse of the copper head again, _was this person following her?_ Maybe they were.

'Listen, Eric, I'm not going to be here very long, I will probably leave in a couple months anyway...' her voice trailing off. She thought it might turn him off her, apparently not.

'Because of your Dad right? You know, the cancer and everything...' he trailed off himself watching her eyes go wide and prick, tears brimming, her cheeks reddening with anger.

'Don't you dare talk about my father like he is just another person passing, you know what he has done in this time, he dedicated his life to being sheriff of this town, and what does he get for it! Some ungrateful teenager who thinks he could run the town better himself!' she balked.

Someone grabbed Eric's shoulder and pulled him out of hitting range, because that's what she felt like, she felt like the worst daughter now, ditching her own father for school, the tears ricked again and she hastily wiped one away.

'I think that means she wants you to leave, I'd take a hint and go.' A familiar, very familiar voice said. Edward, Edward was standing in front of her, a little distance, he had learnt since last time. 'Are you alright?' he asked looking in to her eyes.

'Uh, yeah,' his eyes, a mixture of honey gold today. 'Thank you,' she said quickly.

'No worries,' he smiled at her, before giving her a look, like she was in the way, 'Um, that's my locker,' he pointed behind her.

'Oh, sorry,' she ducked out from under his reaching arm, and for a slight second she almost had the fantasy of being pinned against those locker by Edward, but brushed it off immediately, it was absurd and a little crude.

She shouldn't even really be thinking of Edward.

She growled in frustration, not being able to find her locker, which Edward then pointed a few down.

As she fiddled with the lock she saw someone pixie-like lope gracefully and stop at Edward's side.

'Edward!' she said gleefully.

'Alice,' his usual smooth voice was a bit exasperated.

This supposed Alice was short, with brown shoulder length hair that flicked out at the ends, Alice had high fashion sense and moved with a grace Bella knew she never would.

'Edward come on, I have stuff to tell you,' she sound gleefully excited, something that Bella supposed would always be Alice.

'Calm down, two seconds,' he shut his locker, 'look I'm done,' his tone had a slight mock behind it, like some inside joke.

'Well then get moving,' Alice shoved him with a little huff. Bella watched as they walked in to the sea of people, even though Alice was short she could see her talking animatedly with Edward, Bella wondered what they were talking about, and if she would ever get to talk with Edward without being aggressive or stand-off-ish.

She shouldn't think like that, she shouldn't fantasize about him, she knew if they did ever become friends or more that she could never give him back what he gave her, and even if she did, it would never be enough.

In Trigonometry she sat next to a seemingly nice girl who called herself, Jessica. Bella could tell she was a nice on the outside, but she could also tell if you ever got on the bad side, it would be bad.

Bella had Spanish with Angela, a shy girl who seemed genuinely nice, she was a friend of Jessica's as well, they didn't talk much, but Bella didn't pay any attention to the teacher either.

When the lunch bell rang Bella slipped out of her seat and said a quiet goodbye to Angela.

As she walked down the halls the pixie-like girl appeared at her side.

"Hi, I'm Alice," she smiled and stuck out her hand, which Bella stared at, as she often did when people offered to shake her hand.

The funny thing about having an abusive parent, is that it makes you think everyone will hurt you, I mean, you let them in, so how do you know that the next person you let in isn't going to hurt you?

Bella guessed that Edward hadn't led on to Alice about Bella's condition when it came to touching people.

"Hi Alice," Bella greeted shyly, her voice soft.

"Edward was right," Alice muttered before speaking up, "Hey, listen do you want to sit with us at lunch?" her voice was chirpy and it almost began to rub off on her, but Bella was convinced that now was not really the time to be happy.

"Uh, I can't, I have to go," Bella stared blankly at Alice for a second before turning and leaving, she had decided that morning that she was going to see her dad. Somehow she convinced herself that being at school was an injustice and that she should be with her dad.

Alice followed Bella out to her truck, "Bella, where are you going? You can't ditch school," Alice reasoned.

"I'm not ditching, I'm just... going somewhere," it's not like Bella didn't feel at liberty to say where she was going, she just didn't want to, gossip spread fast enough without her helping.

"Well, can I come then?" Alice asked, Bella could see she was the one who usually got what she wanted.

"No," Bella snapped, unintentionally. Bella got in to the warm cab and drove out school, only she didn't make it to the hospital, instead she pulled over on some road, laying down on the seat and willing the tears to come, only they didn't.

She lay in the cab, staring wide eyed at the ceiling waiting for the tears to take place, only tears didn't fill her eyes, but memories of the many beatings she had received from Phil.

The time with the baseball bat, the time when he just threw her up against every wall, some of the times how he thought it would be fun to carve in to her with his new knifes. So much pain, but pain had become the only real thing in her life.

When the memories passed she made her way back to school.

Thanking God it wasn't raining as she leaned on her truck, when she felt a hand on her shoulder she let out a blood curdling scream, envisioning Phil standing behind her, his malicious grin, and evil glint in his eye.

**A/N: SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! Writers block... got to hate it.**


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